Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Imitating a Good Poem – October 2015. Poems Standing Out

empty handed –
in grandma’s eyes
the moon

(Maria Doina Leonte)

Very well done is the opposition between hands and eyes: empty handed -/ in grandma’s eyes/ the moon. Grandma no longer has anything or can no longer offer anything with her tired hands, but love in her eyes compensates everything. Paradoxically, without handing anything out, her eyes have the most to offer.

empty stomach –
in every puddle a
full moon

(Florin Florian)

Well done for not trying to convince, but for allowing things to be as they are: empty stomach - / in every puddle a/ full moon. This time we do not know if the compensation is strong enough. Not even if the author’s irony is a bit cynical. The poem, however, is perfect.

the wind through my pockets -
on the park’s alleys
gold everywhere

(Dan Norea)

The wind through the pockets confirms a pecuniary lack that is perfectly in tune with the damaging gusts of wind in autumn. The lucky wanderer finds on the park’s alleys/ gold everywhere. Why should he not find this abundance enough for himself?

ending the Christmas carol –
in the apple tree from the orchard
moon and stars

(Luminita Ignea)

Ending the Christmas carol can be regarded as the equivalent of the empty larder, with the epty yard following the moments of euphoria.  The carol’s charm has disappeared, but there is a compensation to it: in the apple tree from the orchard, perhaps due to the magic effect of the carol, the stars and the moon have taken a seat. The moon from up there is right here, only one footstep away.

shaken cherry blossoms -
a smile grows
in their eyes

(Ana Drobot)

The cherry trees that have shaken up their blossoms symbolize the impoverishment of what has been, briefly, a delight for those who admired them. Part two – a smile grows / in their eyes - wants to record that the cherry trees in bloom were not left without a reaction in the hearts of the viewers. Their smile is a less eruptive one, however, a muffled but more complex gesture, including feelings of regret and some resignation and compassionate understanding.

(Comments: Corneliu Traian Atanasiu)

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